Picture a squirrel (the stupidest of earth's creatures) trying to cross the road when a car is coming. This way! No, that way! No, back this way! No, quick, under the wheels, that's it! That's what my brain is like when I'm obsessing about something. At times like this I find cliches to be lifesavers I can grab on to. If I've lost the ability to reason I can at least repeat a string of words over and over. It's my version of meditation. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Do the next right thing." I didn't understand this one when I first heard it but it has become my "go to" phrase. It's a great way to interrupt the worry cycle. It means live in the moment. Whatever it is you should be doing when you're sitting there worrying, make yourself do it. If it's washing the dishes, then go wash the dishes. And when you're done with that, do the next thing you should be doing, and so on. Focus on a task and it will calm you.
"Everything will work out." Things always do. Maybe not the way we want them to, but they will work out in some way and worrying changes nothing. We can't force solutions, we can only make ourselves open to receiving them. The little voice inside can only be heard when the "room" is quiet. And frequently the things I worry might happen don't.
"You can stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down." It's a line from a Tom Petty song that I have adopted as my mission statement. It gives me strength. I just have to use it with care because I frequently try so hard to be strong that I forget to be flexible too. And flexiblility is also an important survival skill. There are reasons why dinosaurs and dodo birds aren't around anymore.
"No man (or woman) is an island." Sometimes I choke on this one because I have fought all my life to be self sufficient and not need anyone. I've been less vulnerable that way but there have been times it has been a lonely existence. I'm not sure I did myself any favors. Life seems to be much more rich when people know they can reach out to each other for help. I think the key is surrounding yourself with the right people and I'm very lucky at this point in my life to have that blessing.
Love to all my family and friends and thank you for being there.
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