Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

 I promised an update on my meeting with the SCORE counselors, the small business mentors. But first, let me tell you how my day began. If it is any indication of how my future in business is going to play out, I should just turn and run now.
The clock was set for 7:00a.m. since the location was at least 45 minutes away and the meeting was set up for 10:00. I awoke to daylight and the bedside clock flashing. OMG the power went out. I vaguely remember hearing wind and rain during the night. I leapt out of bed. O.K., I stumbled out of bed. My 3 cats also stumbled out of bed and went immediately into feeding frenzy mode. Anyone who knows me knows I can't function until coffee has entered my bloodstream, so I clumped to the kitchen to start the coffee but...OMG the power was out.  No coffee. Somebody dial 911! The feeding frenzy was getting louder. I managed to get the cat food can open because I feared for my life. Finally the mob was pacified and I clumped back to bed to reassess the situation. I needed to get ready for my meeting, but I refused to take a cold shower. More importantly I needed coffee. What to do?  I'll heat some water on the stove! No, the friggin' power's out. I decided to report the power outage. Maybe I'd get lucky and they would just flip a switch. I clumped back to the kitchen to get the phone book. Then back to the bedroom. I flipped on the light so I could read the small print. Guess what. The light didn't come on. Why? Because the power was out. I found my flashlight. Yes the sun was coming up but when you're over 50 you need bright light to read small print. Finally I dialed the electric company. The recorded voice told me to enter my account number or my phone number. I punched in my phone number. "We're sorry. The number you have entered is not a number we have on file. Please enter your account number." (Are you f...ing kidding me?) I slammed down the phone. I clumped to my office where I have my bills filed. I flipped on the light so I could find my last electric bill. Guess what? The light didn't come on. Why? Because the power was out. (How many times do I have to tell you that?)  About that time the phone rang. It was superboyfriend. He listened sympathetically to my tale of woe. When I was finished whining, he shared the priceless knowledge that there should be enough reserve hot water in the water heater tank for me to have a quick shower. I was saved! I could make my meeting without looking like a bag lady and swing by McDonalds for coffee on the way. Life was good again. Unfortunately superboyfriend had not shared this knowledge for free. He was out of town and wanted me to swing by his house on my way to the meeting to make sure the storm hadn't left a tree on his house. "Sure,"  I said sweetly while inside I was screaming "Nooooo. I don't have time!" Fast forward. I reported the power outage, ate breakfast, took my shower and got ready. I flew out of the house and into the garage, hit the garage door button and ... NOTHING. Why? Because the power was out. Would this never end?  "O.K. Don't panic. I could raise the garage door manually. I wouldn't have to spend the day in the garage." Another crisis averted. I heave-hoed the garage door and noticed it had started to rain again. Great. That meant I would have to drive slower--in theory anyway. Finally I was on the way. By the time I got to superboyfriend's house it was pouring rain. I pulled up in the driveway and....the house alarm was going off. UhOh. This could be a problem. I called SB. "Has the alarm company called you because your alarm's ringing?" I asked intelligently. "Yes, the sheriff's department's on the way," he answered. "Walk around the house and see if anybody's tried to break in."  I thought to myself, "O.K. It's raining, I'm in my nice clothes, and there may be a burglar in there. Why would I get out of my car?"  I got out of my car. I walked around the house. I told him what a mess his yard was and that he really needed to cut down that tree that was leaning over his house. For some reason that was not appreciated. He kept asking if I'd checked this window, that window, this door and that door and we got into an argument about what door was what door. O.K. I was wet and I was done with this. All I needed was for the deputy to show up and think I was the one trying to break into the house. See ya.  I got back in the car and looked at the clock. Great. I barely had enough time to get to the meeting without being late. "But what about the coffee? I need coffee,"  my little voice whined. "Be a grownup," I snapped. I reached the intersection heading out of town. Little voice grabbed the steering wheel and we went to McDonalds.  I circled the building in the drivethru lane, paid, got the coffee, put up the window, and noticed that the drivethru lady was waving frantically at me. I put the window back down. "You forgot your change," she said. "This is why I need the coffee," I answered.  Finally I hit the road. I was a little bit late but coffee nirvana was mine. I would just make up the time by speeding. No problem....Problem. Every farmer and school bus in the county was on the road. It was a tense drive to the meeting on a two lane road. Every time I passed one I got behind another one. After 45  minutes of this and all the caffeine in a large cup of coffee, I was dying to go to the bathroom. At last I got to my destination only to find that there had been an accident in front of the building and the entrance was blocked by a fire truck and police cars. (Really? Could this get any better?) I drove past the building and parked at the shopping center next door. I walked down the wet grassy hill and into the building still needing to go to the bathroom. By this time I was walking with my thighs together. I barely made it. Whew!! Thank God for not letting me wet my pants. All better,  I found the room for the meeting. I heard voices coming from the open door. Somebody else was in there. I guessed they were just running a few minutes late, so I decided to just be patient. But 5 minutes later they were still going strong and it was now 15 minutes after 10:00. O.K. be assertive I told myself. I politely knocked on the doorframe and said, " Hi, I'm Elyse. I'm here for my 10:00 meeting."  "Oh, no Ma'am, your appointment's for 11:00. (Just kill me.)   
An hour later I did finally have my meeting and it was well worth the morning's aggravation. The counselors helped me tweak my plans and brought up things I hadn't even thought of. By the time we were done I had reading material, a "to do" list, and new confidence that I could actually succeed in business with this group behind me. I would recommend them to anybody trying to get started. S.C.O.R.E. is a great resource.